Fat Tuesday..

Happy Fat Tuesday! The day before Lent .. or as my brothers have deemed it - 'Inappropriate touch Tuesdays' .. followed by 'No eye contact Wednesdays' .. /laugh! I was seriously amused.

I am exhausted today; absolutely wiped. This surprises me a little because the past two nights (not counting last), I've had the most incredible sleep and have awoken refreshed and energetic. This morning, however, not so much. Can I go back to the previous nights of amazing sleep? I have a feeling that's not going to be happening often anymore. So, my goal is to take pictures at every week for the remainder, so I can see how low he drops! Last week - accomplished. This week - accomplished! So here's the 35 week picture:

It's a front shot, which we normally don't post, but I thought it'd be a nice change. My shirts have started not to cover him on the bottom of the belly! B likes to tickle the skin that's exposed when I walk around in my tee shirts, which is really cute.. but I won't tell him that. :)

Five more weeks! I can't decide if he's going to be on-time, late or early... They keep telling me he's on schedule, but I think since I want to see him so badly, he's going to make me wait.

I'm getting a little nervous for the labor and delivery part too. I guess I know what to expect, but it's a little scary since I've never experienced it before and don't really know what each tinge, pain, or whatever means. It's all a learning process, and as M tells me, if so-and-so can do this successfully, I know that you can. I just hope he's right.. I want everything to go as smoothly as possible.

Goals of the week: keep packing the hospital bag, finish washing all of little B's clothes, seriously enjoy a Shamrock shake!

 

Nightmares

Firstly, the 34 week appointment went well! He's measuring right on schedule and his heartbeat is strong. Always good things to hear when it's getting this close.

B woke me up this morning because I was sobbing in my sleep; and it was a good thing too, because I had dreamt I lost our little guy. It was so vivid! I mean, I was literally saying, "I'm 34 weeks, how is this possible?!" to the nurses. What a freaky thing... It totally shook me. Thankfully, the little bugger chose that moment to give me a little kick, letting me know that he was still there and strong.. Made me cry though, and thank God that he was still my little B.

What an ordeal... but so glad it was a nightmare and not a reality! Next appointment is in two weeks - and then every week from then! We're getting sooo close, I cannot wait! (But I must - but my impatience is starting to show...)

Week 34

Six more weeks to go! In some ways, I feel prepared; The bassinet is set up, the clothes are organized, the diapers are ready, the bath things are ready. I feel like the only thing that isn't ready is me. I'm starting to get a little nervous about the labor & delivery part of it all. B tells me it's "a natural part of life," but again, he's not the one that has to go through it. I'm just hoping that everything goes smoothly. For documentation, here's my little guy at 34 weeks:

B finally saw the belly move all on it's own last night, and he's completely fascinated. I've been seeing it for weeks, but I pay attention to all the little details like that. :) I love feeling him poke around and move and try to break free, as I call it. It's one of those things I'm going to miss when he actually gets here; although I am sure that when he gets here, I'll be so busy with other things that I'll fall in love with.

The baby shower in the Midwest went well. Everyone seemed to have a good time and we received way too much, but totally appreciated it all. I'm glad our little guy is already so loved. The next task is to finish organizing (and re-organizing I'm sure) and relax, waiting for him to get here. I know for sure that I'm going to get in trouble for the weight gain, but honestly, I am eating well and I don't feel like starving myself to stay in that "minimum" gain. And I'm sure I'll be told, "Drink more water," but I drink it all the time. Just means I'll have extra weight to lose when he's here.. And it's not as if I look horrendous; my front just protrudes!

I can't believe how much I love this kiddo already and he's not even here yet... I am going to be so overwhelmed when I see him for the first time, I just know it. And as if he knows I'm talking about him, I get a little hand indentation in the belly. This kid is a miracle.

Heart Explosion Day..

Valentine's Day was a complete success! I did a test run on a giant cookie, and the second one came out perfect for B. Plus, it was something that I knew he'd love.

And of course, I also got him a card. We made dinner reservations at 7 and when we got there, there was a beautiful vase of flowers on the table and a card waiting for me.. After he told me he didn't get me anything, of course. (To which I said, I don't need anything; you're already taking me out to dinner.)

So we had a really great meal and then came home and spent the rest of the night cuddled up. All in all, one of the best Valentine's Day I've ever had. We stayed up a bit too late, but he gets to nap a little now, so hopefully that will help.

Tomorrow we have a doctor's appointment early in the morning. I get so disgruntled thinking about that scale; it makes me not even want to go. I love my doctor and the nurse, but really, that scale has it out for me. I think it adds an extra five pounds every time just for spite! Then, afterwards we're supposed to head out to breakfast and then I'll come home and pack for the weekend trip home to the Midwest for our baby shower. Here's to hoping the weather holds!

Little B is doing fantastic, although he has an affinity for my ribs.. But I love just being able to sit during the day and feel him moving around and have conversation. In a lot of ways, I think I might miss being pregnant when he's born, but I am so looking forward to meeting him. Now, if we could only decide on a name!

It's a...

Turns out, I'm a horrible blogger. So much for documenting this pregnancy! I'm 31 weeks in now, and he.. (Yes, it's a boy!) is doing wonderfully. And I sort of read back through my previous entries, and if I thought I was round back then, I cannot imagine what I'd think now!

My relationship with B is going well; not without it's ups and downs, but that's every relationship. I think if I legitimately work at it (and he does too), we'll be alright. It's give and take, and of course it's not going to come without some effort. We've been talking a lot, enjoying our growing child, and working on making things work between us. It's been... well, really nice. I know I am not the easiest to get along with sometimes, but he still makes the effort. And I'm sure the monsoon of hormones didn't help in the beginning either. :)

Little B (since we haven't decided on a name yet) is my little mover and shaker. He's absolutely the most adorable thing I have ever seen -- and I haven't even met him face to face yet! I'm pretty sure all mothers feel this way about their child, but that's okay. And as if he knows I'm typing about him - he's bouncing all around. I cannot wait to meet him, and I cannot believe that I am in single digit weeks left. 9. Nine. As in, less than 10. I feel ridiculously unprepared. We have diapers and clothes, but.. I hope that I can give him everything his little heart desires. Not really in the, "I'm going to spoil you rotten" way, but in the, "I'm your mother and I want the very best for your life" way. Everyone gets nervous, right? But as I keep telling myself, if all of these people that I know can do this; I can do this. And he will be FINE. It's a mantra.

Next weekend is the baby shower back home in the Midwest. I'm hoping the weather holds up nicely, so that we'll have a safe trip there and back. The weekend coincides with my father's birthday as well, and I'd like to celebrate with him. Everyone seems really excited about Little B's arrival (not that I can blame them..) and that makes me feel relieved. I will have to report how the baby shower turns out - as it is being thrown by my mother and her side of the family - and that is always a story in itself.

But for now, here's a picture of the belly at 27 weeks - B and I need to take some more soon!

It's Been Awhile

It's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile since I can say I love myself as well and
And it's been awhile since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

Life is good. Really good. As in, I am really grateful for how things are going and where I'm at in life and yes. Thank god the hormones are back to normal. I feel like me! 15 weeks in, and I feel like a normal, but more round person!

Things with B and I are progressing nicely. No fighting, no drama, nothing but spending quality time and enjoying the time we have while we have it to ourselves. And really, I couldn't ask for much more than that. I feel like sweet Mary Sunshine... And then, that makes me worry about the other shoe dropping. Oh, well. I hope the optimism lasts a bit longer, I'm really getting used to it. The kidlet and I are doing well too. I can't wait to meet him/her! We thought we might be able to see what it was at the 12 week mark, but they couldn't be 100%. So now, the next ultrasound is the day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday. Hm... Hopefully the little bugger is cooperative.

Knock on wood.

Who is this happy woman? I almost don't recognize her, it's been that long. Or.. it's been awhile.

/smirks ...

Sweet Sleep

Well, I finally feel like a decent human being again. Who knew that I could be so angry and short-tempered and just unbearable all the time when I'm not getting proper rest? Whew. I feel bad, actually. I think I've apologized to B a number of times for my absurd crankiness.

Anyway, yesterday I had another Dr.'s appointment, in which they checked the cervix and did some cultures. She said that it felt and looked good and my blood work came back clean. I could just feel my shoulders relax and breathe a sigh of relief. It's the first real piece of information I've gotten other than, "You're pregnant." I think the more I know, the better off I'll be. I just want everything to be as it should, and healthy, and minimal complications. And it seems I'm on the right track! I'm so excited!

Oh, I finally snagged a picture of B's birthday present:

Cute, right? I knew he'd love them. I think now that I've gotten some rest and my hormones seem to have slightly evened out (I hope), that things will be better. I am so ecstatic about this baby and I cannot wait to hear the heartbeat... Oh! Yes! In a week from today is the first ultrasound (the dating ultrasound).. Some people say that it's a small size, but I just want to know that it's implanted in the right place and hear it's little heartbeat and I will be more than content.

This little peanut was such a surprise, but I cannot imagine me loving it any more than I already do. I want to know everything! But mostly, I want to take care of it and show it that the world may be scary sometimes, but I will always be there to support them whenever they need it.

And I also have a friend who is a week behind me. She's been having trouble remaining pregnant, but this time, I hope it works out for her. So if you're reading this (anyone), send a prayer out for her. She would be the very best mother. I'll continue to do so as well.

So, best wishes for sleeping.. So far the wedge and body pillow are my very best friends. I see the nutritionist soon, but the big ultrasound day is in a week.. Seven days of waiting to see my little peanut. I don't know how I can wait that long; let alone 9 months!